#187:đ Your Cycle is a Superpower (and a Filter)
Ladies - Have You Thought About This?
Hey friends,
At Longevity Day, Xico Teixeira did a live demo of the biofeedback of your brain when you do a breathwork session.
He led us through three rounds of breathwork while he wore an EEG headband, the one produced by Muse, and displayed his brainwaves on the screen for us to watch.
I interviewed the founder of Muse, Ariel Garten, for the Ninaâs Notes podcast last year. Watch the episode here.
If you want to watch your own brain move from the alpha and gamma waves while awake to the theta waves of sleep and deep relaxation, you can grab a Muse headband yourself and train your brain at home.
Use this link and code NINA to get 15% off a Muse headband!
Cheers,
Nina
đŹ In this note:
đ Your Cycle is a Superpower (and a Filter)
đĽ Pantheon
âĄď¸ Ferning
#187: đ Your Cycle is a Superpower (and a Filter)
Ladies and Gentleman⌠Iâve been telling a few of my friends how I date in accordance with my menstrual cycle and my girlfriends have looked at me with a raised eyebrow and been like - you what??
This knowledge is really too good to gatekeep and long time readers know thatâs never been what Ninaâs Notes is about.
So let me school you on the menstrual cycle (Men, donât stop reading because I know you donât know this) and how you can use it to improve your dating life and relationships.
Whatâs Actually Happening in Your Cycle
Listen up. Iâve found a world-class hack here.
If youâre a woman whoâs not tracking your cycle, you are missing some extremely useful data pertaining to your own life.
And if youâre in a relationship with a woman, and not paying attention to her cycle, youâre leaving a lot of good evenings on the table.
Let me explain.
The menstrual cycle runs on rotating hormones, primarily estrogen and progesterone, that shape your energy, your mood, your confidence, your social drive and even how attractive you find other people.
It also determines how attractive other people find you.
You may think, Nina, youâre starting to get woo over here but let me stop you. This is well-established endocrinology.
Today, we are going to focus on the two big phases of the womenâs cycle.
Get Social In Your Follicular Phase
The follicular phase starts the first day of your period and runs through the first half of your cycle, until ovulation.
Estrogen is rising. And as it climbs, your energy starts to rise with it.
Your social drive is on full blast and many have a desire to be out in the world.
You may want to go out. You might feel a little flirty. Youâll want to put on heels and go out on the town.
Research shows that higher estrogen is associated with increased extroversion, greater risk tolerance, and more positive social engagement.
This is the phase where you actually want to make plans. When putting on the heels and going out sounds like a really good idea.
If youâre actively dating, these are the fun times of the cycle to go out on those first or second dates. Your energy is high, youâre curious, and youâre probably going to have a good time.
Ovulation is When Youâre At Your Peak Confidence
Right around the middle of your cycle, estrogen peaks and you get a surge of LH (luteinizing hormone) that triggers ovulation.
This is your peak energy and confidence window.
Youâll be finding people very attractive. And importantly, people will also be attracted to you.
Studies have found that during ovulation, women rate strangers as more attractive.
During ovulation women are perceived by others as more attractive.
Women display more confidence and assertiveness in social settings during this time as well.
Warning: Use this information wisely. I once stopped a man riding a bike during my ovulation phase, he dismounted and asked me on a date with one look. Ladies, we are goddesses here.
Thereâs even research showing women are more likely to take financial risks and make faster decisions during this window. Proceed with caution.
Youâll notice it if you pay attention. More eye contact. More energy. A slight tendency toward impulsive decisions that feel justified in the moment.
It is a great time to meet someone new, but you also might accidentally fall for someone you would normally swipe left on. Again Iâll say, proceed with caution.
If youâre in a relationship - this is a great time to impress your lady with a night out. Dress up. Take her out. Show her off.
The Luteal Phase: I Hate Everyone
After ovulation, you enter the luteal phase. Estrogen drops. Progesterone rises. The second half of the cycle for many women feels noticeably different.
Lower energy. More introverted. Less interested in socializing. A lower threshold for annoyance.
As I like to put it: I hate everyone.
This is a completely normal, physiological response to shifting hormones. Itâs not a character flaw. Itâs not you being difficult. Itâs progesterone.
Now the worst part of this phase (in my opinion) is the late luteal phase, the days right before your period, when PMS symptoms peak.
Estrogen and progesterone are both low. Your body is winding down, meaning that is not a great time to plan a big night out or a loud restaurant or anything that requires significant social engagement.
đŻ The Filter Hack (This Oneâs Actually Good)
Now, drum roll pleaseâŚhereâs the dating hack.
If you go out on a date during the luteal phase and you donât hate that person, thatâs actually a really strong signal.
Your tolerance for social stimulation is low. Your energy is down. Your threshold for annoyance is high. Yet you still enjoyed their company?
That person passes the filter.
Compare that to a date during ovulation, when legit ANYONE can seem charming and attractive and the world feels sparkly. Of course you liked them. But how do they hold up when youâre in âI hate everyoneâ mode?
Track your cycle. Date across phases.
The summary:
Luteal phase = First dates (The real filter: you wonât be charmed by someone mediocre)
Follicular = Second dates and beyond (high energy: youâll actually enjoy it)
Ovulation = Existing relationship territory only (you might accidentally fall for someone youâd normally swipe left on)
Try this out and see who makes the cut.
đŤ If Youâre in a Relationship With a Woman
This section is for you.
Iâm not going to tell you to memorize a calendar but if you want to be an A+ partner, download a period tracking app and track her damn cycle. And pay attention, because the research here is genuinely useful.
Follicular phase: She has energy. She wants to be out in the world. This is the time for plans. The dinner reservation, the weekend trip, the party youâve been putting off. Lean into it. Sheâll have a good time and so will you.
Ovulation: Sheâs likely at her most social and most energetic. If you want to try something new together, this is a good window.
Early luteal: Energy starts to dip. A quieter evening starts to look more appealing than a loud bar. Consider a low-key date at home, something that feels special but doesnât require performance.
Late luteal (pre-period): This is the time to be gentle. Not because sheâs fragile, but because her body is working hard and her tolerance for unnecessary stress is legitimately lower. No need to plan anything ambitious. Just be kind and show up.
This is not tiptoeing. Itâs about not scheduling a big dinner party the week before her period and then being surprised when it doesnât go well.
If you work with the biology, everyone wins.
The Science Bit
For anyone who wants the actual mechanism:
Estrogen acts on dopamine and serotonin systems in the brain, which is why higher estrogen is associated with elevated mood, motivation, and social engagement. It also appears to dampen the amygdalaâs fear response, which may explain the increased risk tolerance and confidence during the follicular and ovulatory phases.
Progesterone, by contrast, has a calming but also sedating effect, partly through its interaction with GABA receptors. Itâs not a villain, but it does shift the nervous system toward rest and withdrawal.
These differences are not subtle. You can feel them in your body, theyâre measurable on brain imaging and documented across dozens of studies in behavioral neuroendocrinology.
Your cycle is one of the most powerful modulators of your brain and behavior, cycling through every single month.
Learn it. Use it to your power my goddesses!
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đď¸ Content Of The Week
Pantheon now on Netflix
Rating: â â â â â
What if your consciousness could be uploaded to the cloud after you die?
Pantheon is an animated sci-fi drama where a teenage girl starts receiving mysterious messages online, which turn out to be coming from her recently deceased father, whose consciousness was uploaded following an experimental brain scan.
Two companies have cracked the code on âuploaded intelligence,â and theyâve chosen to deploy it in the same way: stripping the uploaded minds of everything but their professional skills so they can keep working, without end, in the afterlife.
Season Two picks up in the wake of a global internet shutdown, with a race to find the one uploaded intelligence that can protect humanity against the other ghosts in the machine.
It has a perfect 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and was criminally cancelled after one season as part of a $400 million tax write-down at AMC. Season Two had already been produced and was pulled before it ever aired. The CEO had abruptly left the company, the network was in chaos, and any platform interested in picking up the show would have had to compensate AMC for the tax hit it had already taken. Thankfully, it eventually found its way to Netflix.
One of the most thought-provoking shows Iâve watched on the intersection of consciousness, identity, and technology. Highly recommended!
This was a reader recommendation by Grace. Thanks Grace!
âĄď¸ Check This Out
This is what cervical mucus looks like under a microscope!
Named after the distinct fern-leaf patterns that appear around ovulation, this is called the Fern Test.
Itâs one of the most beautiful things happening in a womanâs body that youâve never seen.
Cervical mucus is a gatekeeper. It protects from pathogens, fosters healthy bacteria, and helps sperm reach the reproductive tract. It also changes visibly across a womanâs cycle, which is exactly what we see with the fern test.
Wow!
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